She strikes me as the sort of person who prefers reading to hanging out with dildos-she describes herself as “pretty shy” and “picky”-and indeed the inspiration for Future Sex turns out to be another literary journey into America’s sexual mores, Gay Talese’s celebrated 1981 account, Thy Neighbor’s Wife. While I’d guess Witt is more likely these days to entertain irregular scenarios in her head than to actually undertake them, I can see how her explorations have been liberating-untangling her from the skeins of the narrative that still ensnares many of her friends, which insists that there is something tragic about “hitting 38 and not having a husband or kids.” Heck, just reading Witt’s book made me feel more open to erotic adventure, prompting me to wonder why I hadn’t taken up with-or at least experimented with-the man who wanted to bypass all the courtship roundelay and asked me to show up at his apartment wearing a raincoat and nothing underneath. These tokens open the curtain to the sexiest girls and chatting that would drive you crazy.
Always speak positively about girls. As in Rinaldi’s book, Witt explores a very San Franciscan pursuit called Orgasmic Meditation, or OMing – 15 minutes of clitoral massage carried out in a therapeutic environment , described by a practitioner, Nicole Daedone, as “a neutral space in which focus on the body could happen without the interference of romantic stories or behavioural conditioning”. Witt, an American journalist, fully involves herself in the exploration of contemporary sexual frontiers, simultaneously an immersive participant and a scholarly observer in the brave new world of internet dating, orgasmic meditation, live webcams, polyamory, and adventures at the Burning Man festival. Emily Witt finished her exploration of future sex at the Burning Man festival in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada, enjoying some responsible hedonism in a polyamorous setting. Or “responsible hedonism”, as it is wryly termed in San Francisco. Another San Franciscan idea making its way east – there are now studios in London – is naked yoga, which the San Francisco Chronicle described over a decade ago as “transforming, not titillating”. To explore beneath the online surface, knock knock sex scene Witt relocated from New York to San Francisco, traditionally America’s sexual Wild West; a place where young professional tech workers consume wholefoods and talk of “coregasms” – spontaneous orgasms during yoga.
Except these days it’s no longer called free love, but polyamory – another book exploring this idea on a far more personal basis is 2015’s The Wild Oats Project, by Robin Rinaldi, a married woman who spent Monday to Friday exploring her sexuality with others, and weekends at home with her husband. As this traditional happily ever after narrative remained elusive – a relationship had ended in 2011 – Witt decided to explore how modern love and sex is evolving, how the internet has changed how we interact sexually, and how to detach her own sexuality from cultural expectation. In a book that is willing to entertain any proposition about sexuality and its outlier possibilities, this is the one area that is sedulously avoided. Values-other than that of absolute tolerance-are unhip, as unmentionable in enlightened company as the word semen was in Edwardian England until Lytton Strachey used the word one evening in 1907, at a meeting of the Bloomsbury Group. The DOJ tracked one sample group of around three hundred thousand offenders and discovered an amazing fact. One group of lads travels the US in a camper van, broadcasting from whatever location they arrive at. Which sounds odd. How can broadcasting her sexual image to thousands of people online be an act of introversion?
As formalized sex work can be outright illegal, semi-criminalized, or heavily regulated, most cam models work independently through sites like MyFreeCams or Chaturbate (though some experienced, established performers host their own websites). It’s also an interesting way for lesser-known models to drive traffic to their pages. Unlike men, who’ve historically been viewed as brimming over with lust, women have not been considered to have much in the way of sexual agency until relatively recently-or if they did, they were written off as nymphomaniacs or sluts. Not to mention the fact that women are all but hardwired to regard this kind of come-and-get-me approach to camara sex live as potentially dangerous, as a provocation as likely to lead to a forced encounter as a consensual one. The pressure to separate sex from engagement is intrinsic to hookup culture, of course-“After a hookup,” Wade writes, “students are supposed to be cool”-but is putting a premium on “meaningless sex” serving women’s actual needs or experience of pleasure?
The pressure to separate sex from engagement is intrinsic to hookup culture, of course. I suppose in that way, smarts and stylish writing notwithstanding, Witt is a child of her generation, where the collective pressure to accept any and all kinds of sexual behavior prevails over individual qualms. Witt refers to her own background-she grew up in Minneapolis in an intact family-as “a little puritanical,” leading her to fear that “if I spoke about sex too openly, I’d be unattractive.” I ask her, now that she’s become something of an expert, what futuristic sex looks like, and we agree that it’s hard to reinvent sex. She began in familiar territory, with internet dating, offering a potted history of the way most of us now meet our partners and lovers. Even though I had these feelings, I decided there was one way for me to learn more: interacting with a model myself. Adult model Lana Bee has just over a dozen clips, along with 13 paid videos available.